Bijgewerkt op 17 dec 2018 om 18:54
Mark Twain was een Amerikaanse schrijver en humorist. Je vind hier mooie Mark Twain quotes, citaten, zinnen en teksten voor Facebook, Twitter, Skype, WhatsApp, SMS, etc.
- A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
- A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.
- A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
- A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
- Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
- All generalizations are false, including this one.
- All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.
- Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
- Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
- As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.
- Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
- Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
- Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
- Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
- Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
- Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
- Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
- Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
- Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
- Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Golf is a good walk spoiled.
- Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
- Honesty is the best policy when there is money in it.
- Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
- I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell you see, I have friends in both places.
- I've never let my school interfere with my education.
- If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.
- If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
- In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
- It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
- It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.
- It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
- It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
- It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.
- It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
- Laws control the lesser man, right conduct controls the greater one.
- Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
- Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.
- Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
- My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
- Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
- Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.
- Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very'; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
- Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
- The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
- The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
- The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
- The lack of money is the root of all evil.
- The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
- The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
- The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
- The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
- There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.
- There are lies, damned lies and statistics.
- Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.
- To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.
- We have the best government that money can buy.
- When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.
- When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
- Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.
- Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
- Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
- You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
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