Mark Twain was een Amerikaanse schrijver en humorist. Je vind hier mooie Mark Twain quotes, citaten, zinnen en teksten voor Facebook, Twitter, Skype, WhatsApp, SMS, etc.
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.
A person who won’t read has no advantage over one who can’t read.
A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
Honesty is the best policy when there is money in it.
Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.
I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell you see, I have friends in both places.
I’ve never let my school interfere with my education.
If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.
If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.
It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.
It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
Laws control the lesser man, right conduct controls the greater one.
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.
Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very’; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
The lack of money is the root of all evil.
The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.
The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.
There are lies, damned lies and statistics.
Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.
To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.
We have the best government that money can buy.
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.